Why should the Ex feel hurt? They were the ones who walked out of their marriage!

One of the most recurring complaints new partners seem to have been: “Why the ex acts like she/he is hurt about the end of the relationship. She/he was the one who ended it, walked out or cheated and left! He/she wanted it !"

I would like to ask; would she leave if she was happy in that relationship? Should she stay in an unhappy relationship? We agree that leaving can be the right thing to do if you can not make it work so everyone can be happy.  Now: leaving means breaking down that relationship. 99% of people who had to go through a relationship break down are describing it one way or another as a big loss. Sometimes like being cut deep. Like someone caused you serious injury.  We are able to understand that pain when someone is leaving you and breaks your relationship. 

Now I would like to bring in a parallel example for this pain and loss. 

Imagine that someone caused you an injury: stabbed you or cut off your finger. Hurts, leaves scare or leaves you without a limb. 

But what if it was you? What if someone cuts themselves? Won't that hurt? Or if something is very unusual with that person's ability to feel pain, won't it leave scars? Won't it leave that person without that limb? 

And what if that person, who pulled this “knife” was trapped and had to cut of own finger/arm? (think back to the famous movie: )   Should we have an attitude towards them, that they can not be seen or treated as disabled person because they did it to themselves.

Or like Siamese-twins: They had to be separated to give them chance for normal life (or some cases- life at all) but doesn’t matter who was removed from who, they are both separated now and as a result, they both have scars or physical special needs after that separation. 

I believe you can see already what the point is I am trying to make with this. It doesn’t matter who made the decision to cut the ties and break a relationship. It hurts everyone who is involved.